Three Weddings and a Vimeo: Where KISS Is an Acronym

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1. Bad Zipper – Fun Wedding

In the photo, a very young Stefan is pretending to monitor the sound. On my left is school friend Robert Parker. We record weddings on a Ferrograph tape recorder and burn two 12-inch LPs—one “sealed in plastic to last a lifetime.”

This particular wedding has ground to a halt. The bride entered the church and took a deep breath before going down the aisle. ZIP—ZAP—POW! Disaster. The zipper on her new wedding dress self-destructs.

She screams and reverses backwards out of the church. You can imagine what the groom at the altar is thinking.

Now she is running down the street hoping to find a friendly house where she can have her wide-open dress sewn up. The congregation is told, and we all settle down to listen to an endless organ recital. “By the Sea, By the Beautiful Sea.”

The wedding photographer is wandering around. He discovers our recording hideout, we do a busy pose and he snaps us up. Finally, the bride returns in a borrowed red and yellow dress. We applaud her entrance, she cries, they live happily ever after.

2. Bad Host – No Wedding

We’re at Rosemary and Miles’ place. It’s Miles’ birthday and the table has about ten other guests. Much of the dinner talk is about their daughter’s wedding.

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William and Megan take their vows. See me and my camera center frame.

Stefan, you will film it, won’t you?” All the guests are waiting for my response. I had said no a week earlier. Here we go again.

“No, Rosemary, I won’t film the wedding. I’m not a wedding filmmaker.”

“But Stefan, please take some shots—just home movie stuff.”

The table is now dead quiet as Rosemary and I are locked in battle. “Rosemary, I make corporate videos. That’s my profession. I’ve made a strict policy not to do videos for friends. It’s as simple as that.”

A week later a letter arrives:

Dearest Stefan and Tricia,

We asked too many people to Rebecca’s wedding and have decided to cut back on the numbers. It is with regret that we have to withdraw our wedding invitation.

Rosemary

3. KISS Is an Acronym

My son William and his love Megan are getting married at our place. I can shoot it “professionally” with three cameras:

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Reverse angle GoPro clamped to a table lamp with Gorilla legs. I’m too lazy to remove one camera from the dual 3D casing.

1. CENTER a wide shot

2. RIGHT a CU on Megan

3. LEFT a CU on Will

And maybe 4. REVERSE ANGLE?

Four cameras, four tripods, and what about some lights and three radio mics? Come on, that’s crazy, it’s a small family wedding.

My way is always the KISS way: Keep It Simple, Stupid. No lights, just one handheld camera, plus a fixed, reverse angle GoPro. My Sony HXR-NX30’s stabilization is so good, I can move from left and right, get in close and pull back.

My son’s wedding is online: vimeo.com/158444586.  

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